Wednesday, 1 December 2010
Friday, 26 November 2010
Monday, 8 November 2010
Monday, 1 November 2010
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Friday, 29 October 2010
Sunday, 24 October 2010
When people think of death the first and most normal thought is death of a person. Losing someone forever. Then they think death of another type of living organism, be it an animal, plant or anything else.
Here is a different way of looking at it, death of a relationship; death of a friendship. OK so I admit ‘death of a friendship’ does sound different and strange, but as I was sitting in my lecture (suppose to be paying attention but the lecturer was so boring I drifted off to my wonderland) I thought that a relationship between two friends is like a living thing on its own, you feed it by love and attention. So much effort from both ends needs to be put, and with neglect or some ‘disease’ it can easily die.
It happens, to everyone, at some time of their life. To some people it happens more often than others.
An example of it from a first person point of view:
I tried to hold what little love we had for each other. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I couldn’t believe it could happen this easily. People look onwards and I feel them pitying us. All ready to give us condolences.
But I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight and so I did just that. But you, you lost all faith. You easily let go and gave up, just like that.
I guess that’s what hurt me the most. And so before I knew it, the day came. We were just no longer friends, our friendship and love for each other died.
The undertaker took it away swiftly and then I was left alone in the dark. I was cold, and upset. I couldn’t cry anymore for all my tears dried up. I just stood there, in the darkness not knowing what to expect, and then in the distance I saw something. It was just a flicker at first, but then I got closer to it and saw some light, alas, my world of darkness has found its light and with that a new friendship has formed. It was indeed life after death.
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
1. How did you get one of your scars?
Fell down while running away from a puppy (it was a creepy puppy -.- )
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
I had lunch then a movie with a group of my closest friends and cousins XD
3. How are you feeling at this moment?
4. How did your night go last night?
Tiring! I had this crazy gym class called cardio workout and it killed me!
5. How did you do in high school?
Good 7amdellah, but it did cost me my social life, but so worth it =)
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)?
Well no matter where I am, whether it's here in the UK, or back home, I always see my bestfriends <3
8. How much money did you spend last month?
9. How old do you want to be when you get married?
I don't know wallah,
10. How old will you be at your next birthday?
21 WOOT WOOT!
1. Your mother’s name?
Um a7med (yeah I copied you EB)
2. What did you do last weekend?
I went to alton towers and it was awesome but tiring but awesome XD
3. What is the most important part of your life
My family & friends & success ;)
4. What would you rather be doing?
5. What did you last cry over?
Hmm, I don't know, oh yeah someone upset me =(
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Being by myself, and watching something, or eating.
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
To have an amazing personality, just be as awesome as me :P hahhaha
8. What are you worried about?
Losing people I love
9. What did you have for breakfast?
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
3. Have you ever been out of your country?
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Nope and I never plan on doing that
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
1. Who was the last person you saw?
2. Who was the last person you texted?
My flatemate and bestfriend.
3. Who was the last person you hung out with?
A few of my closest friends
4. Who was the last person to call you?
One of my friends
5. Who did you last hug?
I don't know
6. Who is the last person who texted you?
My friend Mimi
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
One of my closest friends
1. Where does your best friend(s) live?
Oman, Bahrain, U.A.E. and Saudia
2. Where did you last go?
3. Where did you last hang out?
4. Where did/do you go to school?
5. Where is your favorite place to be?
6. Where did you sleep last night?
1. Do you think anyone likes you?
Not that I know of
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
3. Do you know the muffin man?
yeah of course I do :p
4. Does the future scare you?
5. Do your parents know about your blog?
I don't know :P maybe
1. Why are you best friends with your best friends?
Because I love them, and they make me happy and make me feel loved.
2. Why did you get into Blogging?
Well I first read blogs thanks to *L and then she got one and I was like hmm this is cool, so I got one XD
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
My aunt and cousin came up with my name and after arguing about what to name me the finally decided on my current name! :p
4. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I saw people do it and I was like this is cool
1. If you could have one super power what would it be?
To be able to move things with my mind
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring?
a boat :p
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
Nope, I don't have an ex, but even if I did, things ended for a reason right
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
How will it save that someone really?
One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Yes 7amdillah I am =)
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
It's so weired and different and I don't know how it's happening. I already know two people, who are very close to me, and they are just 19 and 21 years old and they are getting married soon. Like next year which is just insane!
So what's the reason? Well most probably love, you know, they are just so in love and want to get married ASAP and want to do things the '7alal' way so their resort is marriage.
I guess they don't realise what a serious matter it is. I mean don't get me wrong, I am not saying that no one should get married at a young age, I am just saying that people shouldn't rush into it and realise what a great responsibility marriage is.
What do you think?
Sunday, 10 October 2010
You can tell by the title of this post that I have watched the movie ‘Eat. Pray. Love’ and I found it to be interesting. It’s not usually my type of movie; I find the whole searching for yourself a bit too ‘old’ for me. I have just turned 20 and far from a mid-life crisis so watching someone go through that isn’t my cup of tea.
However I did watch it and I liked it. You can get a lot from that movie, and I recommend you all to watch it.
There were so many things in this movie that made me re-think life but one thing that really got to me in this movie was when the main character was in Rome. It was before she was leaving to India and she had a thanks-giving dinner with her Italian friends. And while there were finishing up their dinner, she narrates something that really touched me, she says something along the lines of them all being happy and how it makes her feel happy, and how happiness just makes everything simple and sometimes perfect. OK so she doesn’t exactly say that, but that's what I got from it and it got me thinking.
From my posts you can tell a lot about my personality, I can be gloomy, moody, sarcastic and cynical. Yeah those are my flaws. I know. The funny thing is I never really wanted to change that about me. I use to think that I had a right to be that way. I use to think that it’s not me being a down depressing person but me being smart and realising just how difficult life is. But now I realise I am wrong and not just because of this movie, but because for a while now I have had this feeling in me that something isn’t right.
I sometimes get annoyed from people who claim they are always happy. It really annoys me, because I know for a fact that being happy all the time is impossible. And I still believe that. It is one of my theories on life, and yes I do have a whole lot of theories, but I’ll leave that to another post. So back to the point, why it annoyed me so much though, that is something I don’t know the answer to, or maybe I do know, I just don’t want to dwell on that a lot.
So happy people of the world, kudos to you. For smiling and laughing and not letting things bring you down. You balance this world out, and as annoying as you can be sometimes because lets be real sometimes you are putting an act or sometimes you are being very naive, but hey, no one is perfect, you make the people around you happy, and give them a new perspective on life. Happiness can sometimes be contagious and that usually is a good thing.
I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that I have finally accepted the fact that there is no harm in being optimistic and it is not always a stupid idea. So for this new chapter of my life (like I previously stated I turned 20 two months ago) I will try my best to optimistic sometimes and keep that smile on my face because it just might make someone else smile (I know it’s corny but it needed to be said). I guess the glass can be half full and not half empty. Sometimes.
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
I went to do 3umrah for the first time and I got back two weeks ago. The first question people ask me was of course how it felt seeing the Ka’ba for the first time. And that got me thinking to when I asked that same question to people before I went. I always had the thought of seeing the Ka’ba as extraordinary. My mother told me she cried when she saw it, my father said that the only other time he was as happy as when he saw the Ka’ba was when he saw me the first time when I was born. So I already had this high expectation, I put the whole thought and idea of seeing it on such a high pedestal.
So what happened when I saw the Ka’ba for the first time? I was overwhelmed, my expectations were met, actually it exceeded my expectations, and it was surreal. I wanted to cry because of how happy I was, I could feel the tears burning in my eyes but I didn’t want them to flow. I didn’t want my tears to come down, I know it sounds weird when I say this but I wanted to be strong and composed so I didn’t want to cry. So I held myself and I was just smiling. And as I was walking towards the Ka’ba it was like I was the only one, I couldn’t hear the people around me or see anyone else, I was just drawn towards it, it was like a magnet pulling me and then I began to perform 3umrah.
I always heard people saying that you don’t feel tired or the strain as you perform the 6awaf around the Ka’ba and I found that to be true. It was easy and smooth and before I knew it I had finished. Another thing that I found amazing was that I remembered everyone who asked me to pray for them and what they asked for, I mean I remembered people who weren’t even that close to me, at that instant as I was going round the Ka’ba all their names and prayers were in my head and I prayed for them.
And then I finished performing everything else and went back to the hotel and fell on my bed TIRED. But oh, it was worth it. You feel this feeling like you are on cloud nine. I called it a ‘spiritual high’ and I feel it’s the best way I could describe the feeling.
I can’t wait to back their again inshallah. =)
Monday, 6 September 2010
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Change me for the better
Make me a greater person
Make me chose the road that seems difficult but has a more rewarding ending
Forgive me for my ignorance
But help me increase my intellect
Only you have that power over me
Only you can make me overcome my hurdles
So here I am waiting for you
You are my knight in shining armour, my saviour, my everything
You are the better side of me that I have lost and forgotten...
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Monday, 26 July 2010
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Sunday, 18 July 2010
Saturday, 17 July 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
Saturday, 10 July 2010
A few years back (around 5 years ago) there were four friends; two guys and two girls. Now before you start thinking that was like in a click or a group and they only had each other, your thinking is wrong. You see they had loads of other different friends and people they knew, it’s just that their particular life and how things changed is different and I want to blog about the four of them. =)
We will call him R, growing up he was a mama’s boy. I know its mean, but it’s the truth. He was an only child who was very spoilt, but deep down, and I mean really deep down, he was good guy. First years of school, he wasn’t a loser, just very regular, kind of uptight boy. Then we he turned 14 things changed. First thing was he started smoking. He was the first person to start smoking in his whole grade and at that time it was something HUGE. So the rebel in R started to show. Slowly as time progressed he began experimenting with other things, alcohol, hashish, etc. What we didn’t know at that time he was having some family issues, his parents and all, and it got ugly. Did that make him do those things? I will never know.
Then things just spiralled out of control. He just started going down the wrong path, and it gotten to the point where he forgot his religion and had no moral sense of what is right and what is wrong. He still hasn’t changed.
We will call him D, to be honest I don’t know much of his childhood, but I do know that he lost his father (Allah yer7ma) and he lived with his mum. From what I know of him, he was crazy from the beginning. He was a wild person who did the unthinkable. You name it, he tried it! Yeah that's how screwed up he was, and keep in mind these people are teenagers. So then what happens? After a few years, he grew up graduated from high school and went to college. He the somehow (I wish I knew how) put his life back on track and choose the right “path”. He stopped smoking; drinking and going out with girls (you know what I mean). He started praying properly and even giving religious advice on his facebook profile and before I knew it I find out that he is engaged mashallah.
Her code name is H. No one understood how she was friends with all kinds of people. She was very social and talkative and just hung out with anyone. That's how she ended up being friends with people like D and R (there were also in the same school). She was the paranoid person always freaking out. She never did anything wrong but she was always worried about her friends because some of them were just wild. At the beginning she never advised them, she just watched them slowly lose control, until one day, everything changed. She somehow realised that she had to distance herself from the bad crowd. Without her realising they were slightly influencing her. So what happened to her? She also became bit more religious. I am impressed with her, she has changed a lot. She still maintains her social happy habit but I feel that she is much wiser now.
Code name A. She is the definition of a wild child. Rebel is her middle name. You name it, she has done it! She smoked, and had boyfriends. People would always talk about her but she never cared (which was one of the problems). She was reckless. Ironically she was best friends with D (match made in hell). They really had negative effects on each other. And now? Has she changed? If anything she is just getting worse. She is spiralling out of control. The funny thing is she once told me she was proud H for becoming more religious and all and I was thinking, then why don’t you fix your ways, it’s not too late. But she doesn’t want to change I guess. Maybe one day, but for now she is still the wild child.
So that the life so far of the four of them. I don’t think any of them keep in contact. Maybe a few hellos here and there but that's about it. It’s so amazing how they were once all in one path, and now they each lead a very different life.
“Things do not change; we change” Henery David Thoreau
Friday, 9 July 2010
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine.
We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- Marianne Williamson
-- Henry Ford
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Thursday, 1 July 2010
I am just smiling and laughing most of the time, and I haven't been thinking of anything depressing and for me that is HUGE :P
The dark cloud over my head has passed away, I know it will be back, but at least for now I can just be all cluless of problems and enjoy the simple life without its complexietes.
I know its only been a few days, but I know i fell in love with this place, and it is all due to my amazing friends, I LOVE THEM <3
hmm, so yeah that is about it, such a random post I KNOW, but i just felt like expressing myself, =)
I HOPE EVERYONE enjoys their summer and is having an awesome time because you do know that this is the only time youll have a summer called sumer 2010? :P :P
Friday, 25 June 2010
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
I have listed some of the most memorable quotes I have come across; they are not listed in any particular order. I have noticed that by reading peoples favourite quotes you get to understand them a little. So here it is *drum roll*:
- "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." (Marilyn Monroe)
- “You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”(Malcom X)
- “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes your future and accepts you just the way you are” (Anonymous)
- "Promise you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave." – (Winnie the pooh)
- "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
- (Walter Winchell)
- "A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."(Anonymous)
- "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." (Marilyn Monroe)
- "Never justify yourself. Your enemies won't believe you and your friends won't need it."(Proverb)
- "Love becomes dangerous when you realize you've fallen madly in love with the other person's faults... At that point you've surrendered any leverage you might have thought you had... At that point, you are at the mercy of the other person..."(Anonymous)
- "Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armour. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!" (Katherine Hepburn in the movie “On Golden Pond”)
- “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame”(Benjamin Franklin)
- “You want what we all want, you want to look across the gulf and know that there is someone out there who is like you” (Wilson from the series HOUSE.)
- “Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.”(Anonymous)
- “if it wasn’t mean to hurt it wouldn’t have been called a crush” (Chicken Soup for the teenage soul part 3)
Tuesday, 22 June 2010
It’s another day. A new day. She looks out the window and stares as she day dreams. Will today be any different from any other miserable day? Only time will tell.
So she gets ready to go to her life outside her room. She looks into the mirror and tries to smile. A faint smile forms and the same instant a tear fall down her face.
“I can do this, I can pretend to be happy, just like I always do” she says to herself and walks out the door.
She meets up with the usual group of friends; they say their hellos and how are yous and get into some conversation. A meaningless conversation. She looks at them as they smile and talk about normal things. They laugh, and she zones out and thinks “if they lived a day in my shoes, I don’t think they would be able to handle it”.
They call out her name; she snaps back to reality, apologises for zoning out again and tries to get into the conversation. They ask her if everything is ok and she says that she is just tired and she should leave soon. They understand, oh how clueless her friends can be. As she walks back to her room, she bumps into her secret keeper, who with one look knows that everything is not alright. They stare into each other’s eyes, and she tells her secret keeper in a whisper “I am thinking about it again, and I can’t hide it now so I think I better stay alone before .... you know”
She completes her sentence “before they know that nothing is ok and that you are not ok” and with that her secret keeper give her a hug and leaves her alone.
As she sits in her room, thinking about the past, the pain, the heartache, she silently cries. She can’t wait until this feeling passes over and then she can act normal and hide her pain, put on a smile and everyone will continue to think that she is alright and they will never know of her true pain that will manifest again after a few months when something triggers the memories she chooses to hide.
So back to the previous question, was today any different? If anything it was more miserable than usual.
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” (Henry Wadsworth)
Friday, 18 June 2010
What happened to the world? Why can’t people just be happy for others? Is that too much to ask for? Every day I hear more and more stories of envy and jealousy, and how peoples’ lives are destroyed because of that. It is a shame.
Just today I was out with my cousin, after the whole hugging and her yelling at me for taking too long to meet up with her (3days she is a drama queen like every other woman in my family) and our conversation goes like;
Cousin: ooo btww sam3tiii ina flana bitizawaj?!!
Me: la wallah, mashallah! Good for her, I know she wanted to get married for quite some time now
Cousin: yeah I know, bes her mom wants to keep it on the down low, doesn’t want 7asad you know
Me: oh yeah as always
This just happened today, a few hours back, and now I am thinking, ok I understand how in the beginning you don’t go telling everyone that your getting married, but the fear of 7asad has increased so much nowadays and this marriage salfa is just an example, it’s something that just happened, but there are many other example like doing well in studies, or in your career etc.
An extreme case happened to a friend of a friend, she was this typical beautiful girl, whose life was ruined because some jealous insane person spread rumours about her which was totally false (I’m sure you heard of something similar)
So back to the question I stated earlier, why so much jealousy? Why so many haters? Is it wrong to be happy for someone else, your time will come and even if it doesn’t maktoob 3end Allah, oo 5alas move on, just be thankful for what you have.
This topic really annoys me because even though I am far (very very far) from being perfect, I wouldn’t ever look at someone and be like I want that's, its not fair she has it. I mean I have felt jelousy (that's was when I had a crush on some guy, I got crazy jealous) but that doesn’t mean I go and be all envious to others, and if I don’t feel that's (and as I states before I ain’t perfect) why can’t others?
Well like I said before, it is a shame, and that habit is just getting worse. But this is life.