Already Dec?

Wow, time is definitely moving fast. I didn't even feel it pass by!

We are already in the cold month of December, the last month of the year. At this time I think ''OMG a year has already passed!''

I have been through and have done so much, but at the same time, I feel like i have got so many more things I need to do, and like every year I promise myself that next year would be different. Next year I would change this and that, and try to be more like this and that and in the end, nothing really changes, I stay the same, but I do admit amazing things do happen that have an effect on me, so I am just waiting for that.

I am looking forward to what next year holds for me, maybe a new prince charming? Maybe a new heartbreak? Maybe a new twin bestfriend and maybe and end to a friendship?

All I am saying that life is unexpected and that is what makes it so special.

So hello December, I didn't see you coming, but I am looking forward to what comes after you.

Oh and a special person's birthday is in December too >

To finally letting go

One thing about me that I would love to change right now is how I hold on to the past. What happened, happend and I need to learn to let go.

But that is the problem, I just can't, I hold on to it and I don't know why I do that.

And of course it is no surprise but this does take a toll on me, mentally and emotionally, and I just can't go through with it any more.

I was at a memorial yesterday and the one thing everyone kept on repeating was being grateful for what you have and that life is too short. I couldn't agree more. Life is to short to be wasted on meaningless things, to be upset of such tiny and irrelevant issues. Life is to short to get angry at something that is so small and pointless.

I have to let go of the pain, anger and frustration. It is in the end holding me back. So hopefully I can change this because now I really want to.

BUT I know I cant change the fact that I get annoyed and irritated so easily, but I can TRY my best not to let it show, it is hiding a part of me, but showing didn't really get positive results, well not over here at least.

Like father, like daughter

To everyone the 9th of November is just another random day, but to me, it is the reason that I am here with you right now.

My father was born on this day and this post is a dedication to my father. =)

Everyone, well almost everyone, consider their father as their hero, someone they look up to and one day become just like them. I am one of those people. I am the oldest child, the first daughter, and so I've got a pretty close bond with my dad. We cam sit for hours just talking about anything and everything from the random family things, to politics to music and movies.

I am my father's daughter. I can't help but notice how we are so a-like. I got a lot of my fathers personality traits, but with a twist (my mum-which will be another post).

I, like many people, admire my father so much. I remember when I was younger I use to brag to my classmates on how strong my father was and that he could carry me ( I was in second grade) and I wouldn't shut up about it until my teacher asked me "can he carry Miss Randa?" (note Miss Randa was a teacher at our school and she was HUGE people use to call her the Undertaker after the famous WWF wrester also named the Undertaker) it was then I realised I need to shut up. :p

But that was just the beginning of my admiration, another thing that admire a lot about my father is the way he thinks and presents himself, they way he talks and makes argument/statements. I always wished I could present myself like him. I always want to sound smart and intelligent and states interesting facts. I use to research about so many things, I wanted to be a walking encyclopaedia, I wanted to be knowledgeable of what is going around in this world, just like my dad. I used to (still do actually) research the most randomest things, anytime I would read or hear about something I would just go back home and google it.

My dad use to do the same thing, but back in his day he would use a dictionary (old school) :P

And then there was music and films, i.e. entertainment. Our tastes are ALMOST exactly the same, with a few mushy chick flicks from me and hardcore action/war films from my dad.

But seriously I found about so many amazing musicians and songs from my dad, from back in the day, because of him I fell in love with classics.

So to sum up this post, I just want to express my love and admiration to my father. I know I make him sound like super-dad, and I know no one is perfect, but that's how most of us feel about our dads right? I know I kept on repeating my dad this, and my father that, but I just never got to express about him here on this blog, I mean if I go on telling people my dad is this and that I would lose friends, hehe

So all in all, Baba, I love you and Happy Birthday <3>

and I would post a few of his favourite songs just for the sake of it:

ofcourse lazim abu baker salim, and I must admit I kind of had my own Abu baker Salem phase to:

and some Oasis, I am so addicted to this song;

Madly In Love

"I have to call him, I need to talk to him!" she thinks to herself. She looks at her watch it's just pass midnight, she walks to her bedroom door and listens, she can hear her brothers talking and playing their computer games.

"Crap, their still awake" she paces in her room back and forth and tries to think of way in which she can communicate him she just wants to hear his voice. An hour passes, she stands against her bedroom door again and she hears nothing.

"OK I'll wait for a half an hour then I'll make my move".

After 30mins, she opens the door, looks both ways, the house is quiet. No movement, nothing, everyone is fast asleep. She creeps slowly, like a theif. She runs down the stairs, and goes out the back door.

It's nearly 2am now. She opens the and leave her house and she walks to the nearest petrol pump. It is a 10min walk from her house. Then once she gets there she uses the pay phone to call him.

So there she is, she reaches the pay phone, puts in her money and dials his number.

"Umm hello?" He answers the call

"Hey babe, it's me ... I" She replies

"What? Where are you calling me from? Whats going on?"

"Um, yeah I am like, um, I am out, it's a payphone near my house"

"No way?! You left your house? You crazy?! At this time, I am coming to get you, wait there"

"OK sure"

As she stands there, this guy comes out of the shop, and looks at her weirdly.

"Hey you, what are you doing her by yourself?" He asks her, as he is approaching her.

"I am waiting for my brother, he is coming now."

"I don't believe it, I am going to call the police"

"No, he is, don't call"

"Listen come in the car and I'll drop you home ..."

She looked at his car, and back at him, 'no way I am getting into his car' she thought to herself.

"Or I can just call the police, '' he takes out his phone and starts dialing.

She starts to freak out, "OK fine!" and she gets into the car, and he goes to the driver seat, as he starts moving the car, she looks out the window and realises that she is in a random guys car, so she says "Oh, wait there's my brother, I can see him, look at that guy"

He speeds the car and drives off, she starts to panic and makes a rash decision that instant, she opens the door of the car and jumps out, and runs for dear life, she hides at an old building, and the guy turns his car around looking for her, but he can't find her. She 'limps' home with a bloody knee and sneaks back into her house.

Her 'boyfriend' on the other hand is driving around her neighbourhood looking for her, he drives around for a while and then give up and goes home and then next day gets a text saying everything was alright. Little did he know.

Now she is not psychotic, not insane or mentally challenged. She is a normal teen, with loving family and friends. She was just madly in love. Love was her mistake.

I won't say this story is fact or fiction, that's for you to decide. But no matter what know that this happens and young girl are so clueless of all of this because it is such a taboo topic from where we are from and they easily get lost.

Dedication to November

As the clock strikes 12 we enter the lovely cold weather month of November. This month has a special place in my heart. My father's birthday, my closest cousins birthday and my country's national day.

Novemeber I love you, when you come along you remind of how I lucky I am to have an amazing father, a 'always there for me' cousin/sister/bestfriend and an inspiring country.

I am proud to have them in my life.

Hello November just keep on making me smile. =)

Funny how girls think a-like

SOOOO

Today I had a meeting with this society I joined and I was the first person to arrive. (I know sounds very sad but trust me people were running late)

Anyhoo so here I am standing in front of the room and here comes this dude standing not to far away from me. I then come to the conclusion that he is also going to be in the same meeting as me, so then I change my BB status into "first meeting, no one's here but one guy should I say hi?"

And then I get like a lot of replies from my friends/cousins all asking the same question "is he cute?"

Now that cracked me up, and yes he was kind of cute, and when I told them that they all were like go say hi, but you see because I was so busy replying to everyone's BB messages, other people showed up and I started talking to them and I missed my chance.

He could've been my prince charming! HHAHAHAH imagine, that would be one funny story, don't you think? :P

Back to the heading and point of this random post, girls think a-like, and like they say, all great minds think a-like. =)

Life after Death

When people think of death the first and most normal thought is death of a person. Losing someone forever. Then they think death of another type of living organism, be it an animal, plant or anything else.

Here is a different way of looking at it, death of a relationship; death of a friendship. OK so I admit ‘death of a friendship’ does sound different and strange, but as I was sitting in my lecture (suppose to be paying attention but the lecturer was so boring I drifted off to my wonderland) I thought that a relationship between two friends is like a living thing on its own, you feed it by love and attention. So much effort from both ends needs to be put, and with neglect or some ‘disease’ it can easily die.

It happens, to everyone, at some time of their life. To some people it happens more often than others.

An example of it from a first person point of view:

I tried to hold what little love we had for each other. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I couldn’t believe it could happen this easily. People look onwards and I feel them pitying us. All ready to give us condolences.

But I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight and so I did just that. But you, you lost all faith. You easily let go and gave up, just like that.

I guess that’s what hurt me the most. And so before I knew it, the day came. We were just no longer friends, our friendship and love for each other died.

The undertaker took it away swiftly and then I was left alone in the dark. I was cold, and upset. I couldn’t cry anymore for all my tears dried up. I just stood there, in the darkness not knowing what to expect, and then in the distance I saw something. It was just a flicker at first, but then I got closer to it and saw some light, alas, my world of darkness has found its light and with that a new friendship has formed. It was indeed life after death.

I hate being crush-less

OK, OK, I know I am being a total girly-girl but seriously it sucks not liking anyone! I am the kind of person that always had a crush (I know it's ironic because I am so sceptical and cynical about the whole 'love'thing) and right now it has been almost a year and I don't even like anyone and it is an annoying feeling!

I mean, don't you just love having a crush? (a normal non-stalkerish type of crush) Always looking forward into bumping into them. Having the hugest smile when you see them. Making a fool out of yourself when they talk to you ... good times =)

But now? NOTHING! NADA! NO ONE! and I don't like this, and it doesn't help that I am in the UK with lack of my people! -.-

So I know this a total pointless post, but that is how I feel =p

Oh potential crush, where art thou? *sigh*

Blogs, Surfs, and Surveys (yeah I just had to do it) :P

so after seeing a couple of my blog-buddies post this, I just had to do it too because I am cool like that =p

Ten how’s:
1. How did you get one of your scars?
Fell down while running away from a puppy (it was a creepy puppy -.- )

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?
I had lunch then a movie with a group of my closest friends and cousins XD

3. How are you feeling at this moment?
hmm, indifferent

4. How did your night go last night?
Tiring! I had this crazy gym class called cardio workout and it killed me!

5. How did you do in high school?
Good 7amdellah, but it did cost me my social life, but so worth it =)

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?

it's my uni jumper, got it in my first year of uni

7. How often do you see your best friend(s)?
Well no matter where I am, whether it's here in the UK, or back home, I always see my bestfriends <3

8. How much money did you spend last month?

Too much, way too much :S

9. How old do you want to be when you get married?
I don't know wallah,

10. How old will you be at your next birthday?
21 WOOT WOOT!

1. Your mother’s name?
Um a7med (yeah I copied you EB)

2. What did you do last weekend?
I went to alton towers and it was awesome but tiring but awesome XD

3. What is the most important part of your life
My family & friends & success ;)

4. What would you rather be doing?
Sleeping :p

5. What did you last cry over?
Hmm, I don't know, oh yeah someone upset me =(

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Being by myself, and watching something, or eating.

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
To have an amazing personality, just be as awesome as me :P hahhaha

Just to be a loving and caring and strong person, oh and he has to be smart =)

8. What are you worried about?
Losing people I love

9. What did you have for breakfast?
Cereal

Eight you’s:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Nope

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?

Not really

3. Have you ever been out of your country?
Yeah

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb
Yeah sadly

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Nope, 7amdellah

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Nope and I never plan on doing that

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Nope

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Yeah

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw?

My flatmate and bestfriend.

2. Who was the last person you texted?
My flatemate and bestfriend.

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?
A few of my closest friends

4. Who was the last person to call you?
One of my friends

5. Who did you last hug?
I don't know

6. Who is the last person who texted you?
My friend Mimi

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
One of my closest friends

Six where’s:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live?
Oman, Bahrain, U.A.E. and Saudia

2. Where did you last go?
Starbucks

3. Where did you last hang out?

Starbucks la

4. Where did/do you go to school?
Muscat

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
Depends ...

6. Where did you sleep last night?
My room

Five do’s:
1. Do you think anyone likes you?
Not that I know of

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Nope

3. Do you know the muffin man?
yeah of course I do :p

4. Does the future scare you?

No I am just anxious for it

5. Do your parents know about your blog?
I don't know :P maybe

Four why’s:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friends?
Because I love them, and they make me happy and make me feel loved.

2. Why did you get into Blogging?
Well I first read blogs thanks to *L and then she got one and I was like hmm this is cool, so I got one XD

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
My aunt and cousin came up with my name and after arguing about what to name me the finally decided on my current name! :p

4. Why are you doing this survey?
Because I saw people do it and I was like this is cool

Three if’s:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be?
To be able to move things with my mind

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
yeah

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring?
a boat :p

Two would-you-ever’s:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
Nope, I don't have an ex, but even if I did, things ended for a reason right

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
How will it save that someone really?

One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Yes 7amdillah I am =)

So why is everyone getting married so young?

I guess the title of this post says it all. It's true though! A lot of people are getting married so young and fast these days, it's like we are back in the time of our grandparents when they got married at like 16 :S

It's so weired and different and I don't know how it's happening. I already know two people, who are very close to me, and they are just 19 and 21 years old and they are getting married soon. Like next year which is just insane!

So what's the reason? Well most probably love, you know, they are just so in love and want to get married ASAP and want to do things the '7alal' way so their resort is marriage.

I guess they don't realise what a serious matter it is. I mean don't get me wrong, I am not saying that no one should get married at a young age, I am just saying that people shouldn't rush into it and realise what a great responsibility marriage is.

What do you think?

Snap back to reality

Just when I thought the world was full bubbles and candy, I was pushed back into reality of this insane, hypocritical and just plain annoying thing we call 'life'. -.-

Oh yes, I am not in my best of moods. And surprise, surprise it isn't even my fault. It never fails to amaze me how when you think you know someone so well, then one tiny little thing happens and your eyes are forced wide open and you see the deep, dark, disturbing cracks in them.

I don't even know why I was so surprised and upset when this happened. I should've known. I just kept my guards down. But no more I tell you. No more Miss Nice lady. I am tired of that charade. You have to be tough, and take precautions in this cold world. In the end EVERYONE, yes EVERYONE is out for themselves and it is rare to find a selfless person.

I know its ironic how my previous post was all about being happy and crap, but that was written two weeks ago. I was on a happy-high and all was well in my La La land, but not any more. I still agree with most of the stuff I said earlier, I am not trying to contradict myself. I am just saying that again the people of this world just proved to me my point.

I am sorry I had to end in a depressing point, but that's how I feel now. I just wish I could bring all the people who I know can cheer me up, who I know I can complain too, here with me. But that can't happen, so I'll just have to face reality ...

Eat. Pray. Love.

I wrote this post a while back, like two weeks ago, but because lack of internet I couldn't post it, anyways here it is now:

You can tell by the title of this post that I have watched the movie ‘Eat. Pray. Love’ and I found it to be interesting. It’s not usually my type of movie; I find the whole searching for yourself a bit too ‘old’ for me. I have just turned 20 and far from a mid-life crisis so watching someone go through that isn’t my cup of tea.

However I did watch it and I liked it. You can get a lot from that movie, and I recommend you all to watch it.

There were so many things in this movie that made me re-think life but one thing that really got to me in this movie was when the main character was in Rome. It was before she was leaving to India and she had a thanks-giving dinner with her Italian friends. And while there were finishing up their dinner, she narrates something that really touched me, she says something along the lines of them all being happy and how it makes her feel happy, and how happiness just makes everything simple and sometimes perfect. OK so she doesn’t exactly say that, but that's what I got from it and it got me thinking.

From my posts you can tell a lot about my personality, I can be gloomy, moody, sarcastic and cynical. Yeah those are my flaws. I know. The funny thing is I never really wanted to change that about me. I use to think that I had a right to be that way. I use to think that it’s not me being a down depressing person but me being smart and realising just how difficult life is. But now I realise I am wrong and not just because of this movie, but because for a while now I have had this feeling in me that something isn’t right.

I sometimes get annoyed from people who claim they are always happy. It really annoys me, because I know for a fact that being happy all the time is impossible. And I still believe that. It is one of my theories on life, and yes I do have a whole lot of theories, but I’ll leave that to another post. So back to the point, why it annoyed me so much though, that is something I don’t know the answer to, or maybe I do know, I just don’t want to dwell on that a lot.

So happy people of the world, kudos to you. For smiling and laughing and not letting things bring you down. You balance this world out, and as annoying as you can be sometimes because lets be real sometimes you are putting an act or sometimes you are being very naive, but hey, no one is perfect, you make the people around you happy, and give them a new perspective on life. Happiness can sometimes be contagious and that usually is a good thing.

I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that I have finally accepted the fact that there is no harm in being optimistic and it is not always a stupid idea. So for this new chapter of my life (like I previously stated I turned 20 two months ago) I will try my best to optimistic sometimes and keep that smile on my face because it just might make someone else smile (I know it’s corny but it needed to be said). I guess the glass can be half full and not half empty. Sometimes.

Back in the UK

Hey!

So I have been in the UK for a few days now. Me and my bestie (still didn't figure out a code for her yet) moved into an apartment! I love our place, it's cute and awesome :p 7amdellah we found a nice place in time.

Anyhoo so as you can probably guess we don't have internet so I have been away from the webbing world for a few days now and it's been difficult! =(

I am behind the hundreds of tv series that I watch ... ah well this is life.

And if your wondering how I am online now, well I am in the University's library, yes I am that desperate! Oh and Uni still didn;t even start so it is practically dead here, the things people do for the internet :p

Well this is a lame post I know, at least its a post la? hehehe

till the next POST which I promise will be awesome XD

feeling empty

Ah it is indeed the worst feeling ever.

What is so annoying is that I don't know what I am missing and why I am feeling this way.

So very frustrating, but that is life right?

You don't always get what you want and when you think you have it all figured out, BOOM everything comes tumbling down ...

I feel empty, but I don't know what I want, but does anyone?

3umrah

I went to do 3umrah for the first time and I got back two weeks ago. The first question people ask me was of course how it felt seeing the Ka’ba for the first time. And that got me thinking to when I asked that same question to people before I went. I always had the thought of seeing the Ka’ba as extraordinary. My mother told me she cried when she saw it, my father said that the only other time he was as happy as when he saw the Ka’ba was when he saw me the first time when I was born. So I already had this high expectation, I put the whole thought and idea of seeing it on such a high pedestal.

So what happened when I saw the Ka’ba for the first time? I was overwhelmed, my expectations were met, actually it exceeded my expectations, and it was surreal. I wanted to cry because of how happy I was, I could feel the tears burning in my eyes but I didn’t want them to flow. I didn’t want my tears to come down, I know it sounds weird when I say this but I wanted to be strong and composed so I didn’t want to cry. So I held myself and I was just smiling. And as I was walking towards the Ka’ba it was like I was the only one, I couldn’t hear the people around me or see anyone else, I was just drawn towards it, it was like a magnet pulling me and then I began to perform 3umrah.

I always heard people saying that you don’t feel tired or the strain as you perform the 6awaf around the Ka’ba and I found that to be true. It was easy and smooth and before I knew it I had finished. Another thing that I found amazing was that I remembered everyone who asked me to pray for them and what they asked for, I mean I remembered people who weren’t even that close to me, at that instant as I was going round the Ka’ba all their names and prayers were in my head and I prayed for them.

And then I finished performing everything else and went back to the hotel and fell on my bed TIRED. But oh, it was worth it. You feel this feeling like you are on cloud nine. I called it a ‘spiritual high’ and I feel it’s the best way I could describe the feeling.

I can’t wait to back their again inshallah. =)

I AM BACK!

OK so I didn't really go anywhere, well wait, I did and then I came back and then ... OK i'll start again, I went to do 3umrah! XD and it was my first time and it was amazing! I am going to dedicate a whole post to that later on. I am still on a "spiritual high" if that makes sense and more of that in time.

And then I came back! I was away for a week! And it was indeed an awesome week, but maybe a little tint teeny part of me missed my bb and laptop ... just a small bit! Don't judge me! :P

So here I am back in my hometown chilling at home, telling my parents all about my trip (I went with my brother and sister) and we are all excited cutting each other off and we talked until we ran out of energy.

I just head straight to bed, and the next day I decide to go online, cheak out what I missed from the world or the INTERNET and guess what happens, the wireless doesn't work -.-

We call the telecommunication company and even go there and for another week it still didn't work until today!

So yeah I AM BACK! and OMG so many blogs to catch up on! I didn't even realise I read that many blogs!

till the next post XD

Being different

Why do we feel shame when someones points out that we are different. Instead we must be proud, for being different sometimes gets you far. (or can send you to a mental institution)

We should always try to accept our 'different side' because with that in our hands we can go so far and accomplish so much.

If you think of successful people, what do they all have in common? They stand out.

So next time someone calls me different, eccentric or even weird, I am going to look at them with pride in me and say 'You call me that one more time and the next time you wake up you will be in an emergency room with stiches all over your body!' LOL just kidding

I am actually going to quote the amazing and talented Coco Chanel; 'In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different'

and here are a few more quotes I came across that I liked:

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not. (Andre Gide)

The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique. (Walt Disney)

You may laugh because I am different, but I laugh because you are all the same - (Anonymous)

Inspire Me

Inspire me

Change me for the better

Make me a greater person

Make me chose the road that seems difficult but has a more rewarding ending

Forgive me for my ignorance

But help me increase my intellect

Only you have that power over me

Only you can make me overcome my hurdles

So here I am waiting for you

You are my knight in shining armour, my saviour, my everything

You are the better side of me that I have lost and forgotten...

Talk about AWKWARD situation!

So here I am in a car with my mum and her friend. We are sitting waiting for my aunty to show up. And as we are waiting my mums friend opens her wallet to take something out and she sees a pic of her son, turns around and looks at me and says "Flana what do you think of my son? You could end up being my daughter in law" and she passes the wallet to me.

And there I am staring at the pictures thinking to myself what the hell am I suppose to say? And my mum's there just holding a laugh and then she quickly dismisses the situation by stating that Mohammed (my possible spouse) is too short for me.

I am there thinking 'mama you make me sound like a giant, ana wa7di I'm not even that tall, I am the shortest in my family (after my mum that is)'

Then my mum's friend goes, no he isn't short, blah blah, perfect height for me.

I'm there at the back seat thinking OMG are these people serious?

Then she turns at me and smiles, and says "so ..."

I am like, "umm, ....."

Then my aunty shows up, ooo they forget about everything! PHEW that was close! :P

I mean what could I say? "Oh your sons cute?" or "oh no, he isn't my type?" either way, it will come out weird!

In case you were wondering, yeah he was cute :$ :P

Food for thought

There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding".
A little knowledge behind every "I don't know"
A little emotion behind every "I don't care"
And a little pain behind every "it's okay"

My Furture Husband ... a warning ;)

I need you to be my friend at first. A really good friend, not the type of friend who say hi occasionally or the theirs a chance I have a crush on you type of friend. I want us to be good friends, close friends, a friend who I let my guards down for.

I want that so then you can see the real me. The me I try so hard to hide at times. The me that I myself don't understand. You'll see my flaws; all of them or maybe just some of them.

And with the flaws out their in your face, you'll see more of my good side, you will understand what makes me, me.

With that you'll see how my flaws make me a better person. In my equation two negatives do make a positive sometimes.

Know that I am the jealous type. I can't change that no matter how hard I try. Don't think its because I don't trust you. I do, it's those a7m *girls* I don't trust.

So if I question you, try to understand my point of view and I promise I won't bombard with questions every time, maybe once a week, OK, OK, once in two weeks? FIIIINE once a month and that's my final offer! -.-

And remember, that if you can make me feel jealous, it means I love you and it's my way of saying that I love you so much. =) (note I have never fallen in love, and so no man has yet made me feel jelouse, it's just something i know)

Another thing I should warn you about, I am very sensitive. Very very sensitive. I react in either tears or anger, or both. Usually anger followed by tears. I can't help it, I am the emotional type. So the little things can bother me, and that's just how I am wired.

SO what positive thing can come out of this?!?!

HELLO sensitive people are awesome! We are not weak (I'll kick some people's ass if I have to), just because we can get hurt easily doesn't necessarily mean we are push overs. I am not. If anything it made me stronger. I don't take peoples crap, and most importantly I fight for my loved ones. And I fight till the end and I never like hurting, because when it comes to pain, I know oh so well. So I hate inflicting it onto someone else. So I can't see the future but I'll tell you this, I will try my best not to hurt you ever. (promises can be broken under special circumstances like you hurting me and me breaking your face with a baseball bat) (you can tell my favourite weapon is baseball bat, too many movies)

I am sarcastic. I can't help it, it's in my blood. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes not so funny. Goodluck with that.

I am a self proclaimed cool nerd. Yeah cool nerds do exist! I am living proof of that. So I find different things interesting, I like anime, and Discovery channel is awesome to me, but at the same time I like E Entertainment channel. So there you have it! I love everything and anything, so helpfully we will have something similar in films and music. BTW I love the cinema, we'll be going there a lot. And music, my passion. =)

So there you have it! To be honest, there quite a few things I left out but this it for now. There will be a part 2. Sometime. But I think this enough for now. You see I still didn't figure myself out. I need to do that, and then y9eer 5eir.

*Note: This is to an imaginary dude, I don't have anyone in mind... yet ;)

The Era of beauty, class and elegance

When it comes to music, I go insane, I already dedicated a few posts to songs. I just love music and now I would like us to go back, way back. To the era of beauty and class. Where less wasn't always more. Where love was always in the air. When the beats were mellow and the rhythm was perfect.

It was all just gorgeous.

So I decided to post some songs, pics and names of these amazing artists that made that era beautiful.

First will start of some blues, with the amazing Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerlad with 'Summer time':

It's such an amazing song. I love it so much. It is just relaxing and because I mentioned the famous Louis Armstrong, of course his most famous song that will always make me smile, 'what a wonderful world'.

And now I'll take a break from music and go onto something that I know less of and maybe I am not as passionate as I am with music, but you can't ignore it.; fashion.

I love art, I can't paint or draw or play an instrument, but like I said earlier I love music and I am so very passionate about it so I enjoy all things artistic and appreciate it all.

So I have listed some fashion icons who you all know. Their all just so ah I can;t describe, but their style has continued on for ages. They are definitely one of the most prominent fashion icons out there.

We will start with who comes to everyones mind first; Audrey Hepburn.

This shot is my favourite of hers. I love it because of the sunglasses. This look is still used, up to this day. The shades are just gorgeous! I love it!

Next up, the woman who got her fairy tale, she became a princess, yes it's Grace Kelly.

Need I say more?

And here come the lovely Elizabeth Taylor. *Applause*

When I think of her, I remember the movie Cleopatra. She played Cleopatra so well. The elegance and grace she had, she convinced the audience that she was Queen of Egypt.

Up next the Italian beauty Sophia Loren.

She was the first woman to win an academy award for best actress for a non-english spoken film. She is beautiful, she's Italian!

And last but most certainly not least, no I did not forget about her it is Marilyn Monroe.

I don't think I should say anything here, we all know her and no one can deny how she is a cultural icon and definitely a fashion icon! Her life was cut short, but she did have an impact in the land of entertainment. Ladies and Gentlemen it's Marilyn Monroe!

Now back to some music. my love. =)

Let's go to the moon!

It's Nat King Cole with Destination Moon.

Another Nat King Cole, These foolish things

This next song got me into all this music. I heard it from my dad and ever since then I was hooked. Dean Martin with That's Amore

Frank Sinatra with New York New York

And Last Sammy Davis Jr, with Mr Bojangles.

And that is it for this post! Phew!

That took a while! I suggest you give each song a listen. They are all phenomenal! I still have loads to share but I'll just leave them for another post ;)

Hope enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing and posting them. With ever song and picture I smiled. =)

Grass is greener on the other side?

Is the grass always greener on the other side? Usually that's not the case, but us being typical human beings we make it seem that way.

No matter what we always feel that there's something missing with us and that there's something better elsewhere.

So why is that?

I don't have a clue, but this does remind of me of something I heard in a movie once. Long time ago, I can't even remember the film, which is annoying me but I will move on from that anyways back to the point, in the movie, there's this lady that says something in the lines of; all humans have a hole in their hearts or soul and that it can never be filled and hence causes greed and never feeling satisfied with what they have.

Well I can't say that what was said is true, but I understand the background to where that idea came from.

Come on, let's be truthful to ourselves, are we 100% content with our lives? There are people out there who think they are, and maybe they are, and I am happy for them, but for the rest of us, not so much.

We always try to fill the void that is within ourselves. How we try to fill it up is different from one person to the next. And this causes us to believe that once we achieve that one thing it would be better for us. We will be happier and life will be almost perfect.

But in reality that's not true right? I mean we can never make our life perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. Close to perfection? Yes. Perfect? No. Only the creator of this world is perfect and we human beings are obviously no where near that.

So what's the cure? What's the solution for us? The obvious answer is be happy with what you have. Look for the silver lining. For if you see the good side in life, you will live the good life.

That would work for so many people, but some of us, we need something more. I still didn't figure out what is that we need. But it's out there somewhere. Until then we can just pray for the best for ourselves and hope one day, we can smile and say "you know what, I'm happy with my life" Inshallah.

Yeah crash into my car that would get my attention!

Guys, SERIOUSLY! You need to stop stalking/doing stupid dangerous tricks on the road every time you see a girl drive.

HELLO we live in the freaking 21st century! Your still not used to seeing female drivers? REALLY?!!

Gosh this sooo annoying! I mean look if I don't give you face the first time I notice you chasing me like an idiot means I won't ever give you my number or anything. So please stop trying, ya3ni its so embaressing for you and degrading for us. So please save both of us the trouble.

OK so I will admit there are the um, other girls who love it and play along and want you to chase them, they give out that vibe and lead you on, so follow them la!

I am clearly not interested in you bullshit, I am not smiling or laughing or even looking your way. So why you still in pursuit?!

One day I am going to stop my car and get out of it with a baseball bat in my hand and smash your window (if only I would be able to get away with that).

That's my complaint for today.

Thank you and Goodbye.

My favourite Season

So I have four seasons to pick from, but I am going to be a bit vague and pick the middle to end of autumn and beginings of winter. I prefer the cold to the heat. I don't mind a little but of sunshine, but the heat that it causes just irritates me.

Why the colder seasons? Well why not? I have been living in the desert my whole life! OK not the actual desert but you know what I mean. It's always hot! We only have two seasons and our winter is so and so.

I love autumn and winter because of the vibe it brings. The cold air brushing against your face. The scarves you wear around your neck and the gloves you put on your hands. The "smoke" that comes out of your mouth when you talk! Just awesome. OK I will admit that I don't like the freezing cold weather because it is too much to handle, but I would prefer feeling cold to feeling hot.

The colours that associate with these two seasons. I love the grey, black and blue. So beautiful. I love the colour black, its slimimg and hot! How could you not like it? Oh best combination black with silver amazing!! OK I'm going off track here back to the point.

Even winter perfumes are just sensational. The strong scent that sends you off the edge. I am thinking DKNY Delicious Night, Escada Magnetism , Ricci Ricci and Givnechy Angel eu Demon.(I know its old but still my favs) All these scents! They are so heavy and lasting just my kind of thing.

The food! The hot coco drinks, coffee and tea. Hot cookies just out of the oven! All those yummy rich food that you could eat because they make you feel hot inside so its perfect for winter.

So winter is my season. It represents me. It is cold, but yet you can find warmth. Dark colours, strong scents and everyone in their own world. =)

I can't wait until this heat passes over because it is driving me INSANE!

Oh and for the record, I hate the rain! Really hate it! Only part of the winter and autumn that I hate! So annoying!! And of all the places I picked to study, I am in the UK, RAIN CENTRAL! Just my luck -.-

Some things are better left unsaid

I hate myself right now! I don't know why, but sometimes I feel that if I talk about the 'problem' it would make things much better, but this time IT DID NOT! If anything I made the situation worse and I just killed the awesome mood! =(

I was talking to someone close to me, I'll give them code name A*. So here we are having an amazing time, joking and laughing. Then suddenly I remember something sad and troubling and I am thinking should we talk about it? So I start 5arafing, and they can tell something is wrong. So then I just blurt it out.

And then what happens? Their face just changed 180 degrees. I could feel the tension in the air. And that bad feeling in my heart just gets worse!!

I knew it, some things are just better left unsaid, because sometimes talking about it just makes it real and makes you face it and this was something neither of us wanted to face.

Now I feel like crap! Great as if I needed more reasons to become depressed!

Inception

Amazing movie I just watched today and I recommend it.

It is science fiction action film. I was reluctant to watch at first because I didn't understand the trailer, but after a few mins into the movie I was hooked. It has you at the edge of your seat and you have to pay attention to detail or you could get lost.

Heres the link to two trailers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmkQ7fw-l0g&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66TuSJo4dZM

In the mood for some alternative music

I love music. Music is my love. Need I say more?

I use to have this really bad obsession with music. Like since I wake till I go to sleep I would have headphones on or music would be blasting from my stereo.

Then I realised I needed to calm down.

So now I am calmer, but my love for music still remains.

I love all types of genre, you name it, I heard it. Seriously I mean ALL GENRES from Rock to Rap. From Country to Jazz. From Pop to Blues. From RnB to Bollywood music. From 5aleeji to Spanish. From reggae to regatton. You get the picture.

Right now I am in the mood of alternative music, which is one of my favourite genre in music. The other day I was going through a rough time, I was feeling a bit down. So I took the car and drove to nearest Fast-food place (yeah comfort easting) and on the way I was listening to a series of alternative music, and I felt it reached to my heart (yeah I can be melodramatic sometimes). At the that instant the world was blue, there was no sunshine no one else out there but me. I felt my sadness take over, but not in a way that I started crying and going crazy, but in a peaceful way (I can;t explain how) but that's how I felt.

So now I am in the mood for alternative music. So I can be overwhelmed by all kinds of emotions.

Here are some of my song choices =)

Oh and I know they look kinda creepy :P

but aren't all artist eccentric looking? ;)

Catching the Laughing Bug

I think one day me and my brother will be band from all fast food drive-thrus. :P

How it all started:

One day, me and my brother decide to go to Burger King to get my Dad and sister meals. So here we are in the drive-thru waiting in line. Then comes our turn, I lower the window and make my order, the guy (indian dude) repeats the order and the way he pronounces the drink "coke" CRACKS ME UP BIG TIME! I start laughing and I couldn't stop. Then my brother starts laughing at my reaction, we just laugh while I pay the guy and continue laughing until i get to the next window and get my order.

Just keeps on getting better:

So the other day be and my brother go to McDonalds. We are at the drive-thru and before we reach my brother reminds me of the Burger King incident and I crack up again and while I am ordering I just laugh and the guy is confused.

Thought it was over:

But it wasn't. Today I went to McDonalds again with my brother and like the last time before we reach the window he reminds of the previous incident and guess what I start laughing again and I kind of scare the guy at the window. He probably thinks me and my brother are some druggies or crazy people who can't stop laughing. :P

Will this curse ever end?:

I have NO IDEA!!

So yeah I think one day, we might possibly be band from Drive-thrus :p

(yeah I like to exaggerate)

For a pessimist I am pretty optimistic

What does it mean to be truly happy?

I know of poeple who lived simplistic lives (simplistic in a sense of no hardships) and see the world as colourful bubble (yeah I cant think of anything else). They smile, all the time, but if you look beyond the smile do you know what you'll see? A naive person. Yeah that's what I believe.

Oh and then there are the poeple who try to forcefully make themsleves seem happy ALL THE TIME! They try to 'spread' the happiness. When it is so clear to us that they are not HAPPY AT ALL! So please spare us the fakeness we can see right through you. And it is sometimes annoying.

So if you believe that you can save someone from their depressed state with you trying to "shower them with your false or naive happiness" please STOP! Speaking from experience it does nothing. If they want to be alone then they NEED to be alone. Stop telling them you 'understand' or it cant be that 'bad', because for all you know, it is that bad and no you will never understand so please spare yourselves the trouble of making us feel annoyed.

I know this is a depressing post, but it needed to be posted. My blog is suppose to express me. I sometimes see myself being a realistic person but others say I am being pessimistic. But I'll admit for a pessimist I am pretty optimistic. :P

Can people really change?

So I am watching this series that I discovered it's called 'Lie to Me' (really nice, solving stuff, action kinda thing) anyways on of the episodes they are trying to figure out if they should let this guy(who was a gang leader) out of prison because he apparently 'changed'. From inside prison he was stopping gang wars and stuff. Now this got me thinking, can people really change?

I mean from inside out, to a totally different kind of person? In the post before this I talked about four people I knew and how they changed and all but now thinking back about it, they changed their life styles and choices (some did, and some didn't) but they didn't actually change themselves per say.

So it is possible? A complete transformation?

Which raises another question, what makes 'evil' people 'evil' ? Is it because they experienced a rough upbringing? Or did they have it in them all along?

Think of an abusive person, who is just always angry, and hits his loved ones, can he ever change? Will he ever regret it? If he was abused as a child, and he saw how it affected his loved ones, why would he do it to someone else?

I mean I saw this other programme (its was a medical type thing) and this guy became a nurse, when he was asked why, he replied that he saw how his dad hurt his mother and him, and he didn't want to end up like him, and instead he wanted to help other women, and hence he became a nurse in a free female clinic.

So two guys, experienced same abusive childhood, one ends up hitting his family, and the other ends up becoming a nurse helping the society.

So why the difference? Is it because the abusive guy always had it in him? That little spark of "evil"?

I know I trailed slightly off the topic but I feel that it relates in a sense, because we are so different. Everyone of us, our gene pool is amazingly different (identical twins excluded) some of us can change easily, though and through, and others, we can't, it's not that we don't want too. It's just that we can't. Or maybe we can but it'll take forever to change us.

So back the question, can people really change?

Four different friends

A few years back (around 5 years ago) there were four friends; two guys and two girls. Now before you start thinking that was like in a click or a group and they only had each other, your thinking is wrong. You see they had loads of other different friends and people they knew, it’s just that their particular life and how things changed is different and I want to blog about the four of them. =)

Guy no1

We will call him R, growing up he was a mama’s boy. I know its mean, but it’s the truth. He was an only child who was very spoilt, but deep down, and I mean really deep down, he was good guy. First years of school, he wasn’t a loser, just very regular, kind of uptight boy. Then we he turned 14 things changed. First thing was he started smoking. He was the first person to start smoking in his whole grade and at that time it was something HUGE. So the rebel in R started to show. Slowly as time progressed he began experimenting with other things, alcohol, hashish, etc. What we didn’t know at that time he was having some family issues, his parents and all, and it got ugly. Did that make him do those things? I will never know.

Then things just spiralled out of control. He just started going down the wrong path, and it gotten to the point where he forgot his religion and had no moral sense of what is right and what is wrong. He still hasn’t changed.

Guy no2:

We will call him D, to be honest I don’t know much of his childhood, but I do know that he lost his father (Allah yer7ma) and he lived with his mum. From what I know of him, he was crazy from the beginning. He was a wild person who did the unthinkable. You name it, he tried it! Yeah that's how screwed up he was, and keep in mind these people are teenagers. So then what happens? After a few years, he grew up graduated from high school and went to college. He the somehow (I wish I knew how) put his life back on track and choose the right “path”. He stopped smoking; drinking and going out with girls (you know what I mean). He started praying properly and even giving religious advice on his facebook profile and before I knew it I find out that he is engaged mashallah.

Girl1:

Her code name is H. No one understood how she was friends with all kinds of people. She was very social and talkative and just hung out with anyone. That's how she ended up being friends with people like D and R (there were also in the same school). She was the paranoid person always freaking out. She never did anything wrong but she was always worried about her friends because some of them were just wild. At the beginning she never advised them, she just watched them slowly lose control, until one day, everything changed. She somehow realised that she had to distance herself from the bad crowd. Without her realising they were slightly influencing her. So what happened to her? She also became bit more religious. I am impressed with her, she has changed a lot. She still maintains her social happy habit but I feel that she is much wiser now.

Girl2:

Code name A. She is the definition of a wild child. Rebel is her middle name. You name it, she has done it! She smoked, and had boyfriends. People would always talk about her but she never cared (which was one of the problems). She was reckless. Ironically she was best friends with D (match made in hell). They really had negative effects on each other. And now? Has she changed? If anything she is just getting worse. She is spiralling out of control. The funny thing is she once told me she was proud H for becoming more religious and all and I was thinking, then why don’t you fix your ways, it’s not too late. But she doesn’t want to change I guess. Maybe one day, but for now she is still the wild child.

So that the life so far of the four of them. I don’t think any of them keep in contact. Maybe a few hellos here and there but that's about it. It’s so amazing how they were once all in one path, and now they each lead a very different life.

“Things do not change; we change” Henery David Thoreau

20 things I learnt in 20 years

As the clock strikes twelve I am now officially 20 years old. I am no longer considered a "teen" if anything I am closer to being an "adult".

So I decided to note down 20 things I learnt in my life and inshallah there will be many more to come. The things could be something huge and important or something small and insignificant. Whatever it is its always good to learn something new.

1. It takes more muscles to frown then to smile. (I know so random, but when I was a kid I use to frown a lot, I don't know why, it just came naturally :P so I was always told that fact)

2. Photosynthesis is a chemical process in which plants convert carbon dioxide and water to oxygen and glucose. (Let me state that I love science, and my earliest memory of something I learnt in science was photosynthesis because we had this guy called Talal in our class who never was able to pronounce it correctly he use to say it in a funny way that would crack the whole class up hehe :P)

3. "If your friends jumped off a bridge, will you do the same?" This phrase bascially states exactly what I learnt, just because everyone is doing it doesn't mean I should flow. I should be a leader not a follower unless I am following someone doing good things.

4. Bad things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people.

5. Good things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

6. Respiration and breathing is not the same thing! (this amazed me :P) oh and viruses are not living micro-organisms! (this shocked me!).

7. Anime aka Japanese cartoons, are awesome (I owe this to my brother) XD

8. It's OK if not everyone likes you, you can't make people like you and if they don't then it's their loss. =)

9. Music (as much as I love it) shouldn't consume your life, everything (including music) needs limitations.

10. Family ALWAYS comes first.

11. You win some, you lose some (in everything, friends, studies, etc.)

12. You can have more than one best friend, the more complicated you are (I am very complicated) the more best friends you need.

13. In a moment of anger you can say something that you will regret for the rest of life (a really long time).

14. Let go of the pain and don't dwell on the past, (still need 2 improve on that, but I am getting better)

15. No matter how old you get, cartoons (like tom and jerry and bugs bunny) still make you feel good inside. =)

16. Being confident and being able to speak publicly in front of a lot of people! ( I battled my stage frights, even though I still get nervous before going on stage to present something, I am better at it now)

17. DRIVING! yeah once I turned 18, I got my licence! MOST AWESOME THING EVER! XD

18. Sarcasm ( its a gift and a curse, I learnt it at a very young age, and I still have it :P)

19. Not to be judgemental. Of all the flaws I have like being moody, and over sensitive I have never been judgemental. I see past the labels, and take people for who they really are. And this helped have a "variety" of friends, yes we don't all agree on the same thing, but in the end we care about each other and that's what friends are for.

20. I have left this for last because I feel that it is the most important lesson I had in life so far. No matter, always keep your faith strong. No matter what you go through, no matter how dark and bad it seems. Just pray and everything will be al right. And I don't mean just pray 5 times a day and that's it, I mean go deeper than that. Look inside yourself and be a better person. A better Muslim. =)

So this is it!

I am entering my 20s, so this is not only a new page, but a new chapter. I hope to improve this year in both social and study wise. Be a happier person and keep on smiling. =)

and to everyone else no matter when your birthday is .... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Henna? Hair done? Make up? Do I sense a wedding?

The inspiration for this post, believe it or not came from my bb :P.

So tomorrow is a special day for me, because its my cousins wedding =) and my birthday! =)

But this post is dedicated to my cousin and her wedding :P

first off I MISS HENNA! its been ages since I put some, and I must admit I am a sucker for henna and I can't stop staring at my hands hehe,

And then tomorrow hair and make-up =)

Don't you just love weddings? The dancing, the music, the food :P, the happy atmosphere.

And it's the same day as my bday, double bonus :P

Alf mabroook to you K*

ooo 3u8balna ;)

Be inspired!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine.
We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- Marianne Williamson

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.
-- Henry Ford

To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to posses them. This is the only way you will be truly rich.

-- Mohammed Ali

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

-- Albert Einstein

You were born an original. Don't die a copy.
-- John Mason

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
-- Groucho Marx

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

-- James Branch Cabell

There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.

-- Albert Guinon

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

-- Horace Walpole

it's JULY !!!

I cannot believe that I forgot to welcome the month of July!

So from my name you can tell that this month is very dear to me

And why would I love a month so much? Yeah my birthday is on this month, I know it sounds so self-centred but birthdays means a lot too me =) and there's another person who is so dear to me born in this month, my baby sister

So yeah, HELLO JULY! so far it has been awesome, and may the awesomeness continue.

Hope everyone is enjoying July.

Second chances?

I don't buy them, once a liar always a liar always a liar, once a cheater, always a cheater.

See the trend?

So they betrayed your trust the first time, so why wouldn't they do it again?

So second chances?

No thank you, not for me ...

Summer

So I am currently in the beautiful island called Bahrain, hehe, I LOVE IT HERE, and its mainly because of my awesome friends who are making my stay so much fun with every passing mintue, I wish I could I stay here for a longer peroid of time.

I am just smiling and laughing most of the time, and I haven't been thinking of anything depressing and for me that is HUGE :P

The dark cloud over my head has passed away, I know it will be back, but at least for now I can just be all cluless of problems and enjoy the simple life without its complexietes.

I know its only been a few days, but I know i fell in love with this place, and it is all due to my amazing friends, I LOVE THEM <3
hmm, so yeah that is about it, such a random post I KNOW, but i just felt like expressing myself, =)
I HOPE EVERYONE enjoys their summer and is having an awesome time because you do know that this is the only time youll have a summer called sumer 2010? :P :P

Father-Daughter kind of song

I first heard this song a couple of days ago at a wedding, the bride actually walked in with her father, and instead of playing the traditional arabic song she entered with an english song.

In the beginning everyone was take a back, you know, because it just wasn't typical, but once we all heard the words, emotions were running high.

It was so beautiful, and touching, I was close to tears (yeah I'm emotional like that :P) ... So when i got back home, me being the music fanatic that I am, I searched for it till I found it =D

ANYWAYS, here's the video of the song, with lyrics, I suggest you give it a listen, it's pretty touching

I am sick...and football is my disease

Ok lets start by me letting you know, that I never was OBSESSED about football. I mean I watched a few games and all, but I never got so into it that I scream and shout at the referee, up until now that is.

I blame it on the "football fever". It's so big here, and everyone is obsessing about it that it rubbed on me. Now when I watch the matches and I scream, yeah SCREAM! I yell, I shout, I jump when the team I support scores a goal and I get mad when the other team scores. I blame the referee and accuse him of being blind (only when he misses a penalty or gives a penalty to my team etc.)

Yeah it is sad to say that it has come to this. My father now prefers watching matches with me because it's more fun :P

So yeah, I have the football fever, but come on, it is the WORLD CUP after all, and so far my teams are doing well, and today there are awesome matches, and I cant believe I am saying this, but I am looking forward to seeing them!

Ah well, I guess after 11th July, things will go back to normal, and I will become "normal" again and obsess about something else.

My Favourite Quotes

I have listed some of the most memorable quotes I have come across; they are not listed in any particular order. I have noticed that by reading peoples favourite quotes you get to understand them a little. So here it is *drum roll*:

• "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." (Marilyn Monroe)
• “You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”(Malcom X)
• “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes your future and accepts you just the way you are” (Anonymous)
• "Promise you won't forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave." – (Winnie the pooh)
• "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
• (Walter Winchell)
• "A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."(Anonymous)
• "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." (Marilyn Monroe)
• "Never justify yourself. Your enemies won't believe you and your friends won't need it."(Proverb)
• "Love becomes dangerous when you realize you've fallen madly in love with the other person's faults... At that point you've surrendered any leverage you might have thought you had... At that point, you are at the mercy of the other person..."(Anonymous)
• "Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armour. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!" (Katherine Hepburn in the movie “On Golden Pond”)
• “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame”(Benjamin Franklin)
• “You want what we all want, you want to look across the gulf and know that there is someone out there who is like you” (Wilson from the series HOUSE.)
• “Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.”(Anonymous)
• “if it wasn’t mean to hurt it wouldn’t have been called a crush” (Chicken Soup for the teenage soul part 3)

So far these are the quotes that I could remember but I know there are many more that I would like to post I just can’t remember them now :P but when I do a sequel to this post =D

It's a Cold, Cold World

It’s another day. A new day. She looks out the window and stares as she day dreams. Will today be any different from any other miserable day? Only time will tell.

So she gets ready to go to her life outside her room. She looks into the mirror and tries to smile. A faint smile forms and the same instant a tear fall down her face.

“I can do this, I can pretend to be happy, just like I always do” she says to herself and walks out the door.

She meets up with the usual group of friends; they say their hellos and how are yous and get into some conversation. A meaningless conversation. She looks at them as they smile and talk about normal things. They laugh, and she zones out and thinks “if they lived a day in my shoes, I don’t think they would be able to handle it”.

They call out her name; she snaps back to reality, apologises for zoning out again and tries to get into the conversation. They ask her if everything is ok and she says that she is just tired and she should leave soon. They understand, oh how clueless her friends can be. As she walks back to her room, she bumps into her secret keeper, who with one look knows that everything is not alright. They stare into each other’s eyes, and she tells her secret keeper in a whisper “I am thinking about it again, and I can’t hide it now so I think I better stay alone before .... you know”

She completes her sentence “before they know that nothing is ok and that you are not ok” and with that her secret keeper give her a hug and leaves her alone.

As she sits in her room, thinking about the past, the pain, the heartache, she silently cries. She can’t wait until this feeling passes over and then she can act normal and hide her pain, put on a smile and everyone will continue to think that she is alright and they will never know of her true pain that will manifest again after a few months when something triggers the memories she chooses to hide.

So back to the previous question, was today any different? If anything it was more miserable than usual.

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” (Henry Wadsworth)

Haters

What happened to the world? Why can’t people just be happy for others? Is that too much to ask for? Every day I hear more and more stories of envy and jealousy, and how peoples’ lives are destroyed because of that. It is a shame.

Just today I was out with my cousin, after the whole hugging and her yelling at me for taking too long to meet up with her (3days she is a drama queen like every other woman in my family) and our conversation goes like;

Cousin: ooo btww sam3tiii ina flana bitizawaj?!!

Me: la wallah, mashallah! Good for her, I know she wanted to get married for quite some time now

Cousin: yeah I know, bes her mom wants to keep it on the down low, doesn’t want 7asad you know

Me: oh yeah as always

This just happened today, a few hours back, and now I am thinking, ok I understand how in the beginning you don’t go telling everyone that your getting married, but the fear of 7asad has increased so much nowadays and this marriage salfa is just an example, it’s something that just happened, but there are many other example like doing well in studies, or in your career etc.

An extreme case happened to a friend of a friend, she was this typical beautiful girl, whose life was ruined because some jealous insane person spread rumours about her which was totally false (I’m sure you heard of something similar)

So back to the question I stated earlier, why so much jealousy? Why so many haters? Is it wrong to be happy for someone else, your time will come and even if it doesn’t maktoob 3end Allah, oo 5alas move on, just be thankful for what you have.

This topic really annoys me because even though I am far (very very far) from being perfect, I wouldn’t ever look at someone and be like I want that's, its not fair she has it. I mean I have felt jelousy (that's was when I had a crush on some guy, I got crazy jealous) but that doesn’t mean I go and be all envious to others, and if I don’t feel that's (and as I states before I ain’t perfect) why can’t others?

Well like I said before, it is a shame, and that habit is just getting worse. But this is life.