“Despite all the things we all experience, like heartbreak and pain, it takes being able to get through it to realize the beauty of life. All the negative makes you realize the things that matter. It puts the petty things in perspective.” Jason Peters
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Back in the UK
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
feeling empty
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
3umrah
I went to do 3umrah for the first time and I got back two weeks ago. The first question people ask me was of course how it felt seeing the Ka’ba for the first time. And that got me thinking to when I asked that same question to people before I went. I always had the thought of seeing the Ka’ba as extraordinary. My mother told me she cried when she saw it, my father said that the only other time he was as happy as when he saw the Ka’ba was when he saw me the first time when I was born. So I already had this high expectation, I put the whole thought and idea of seeing it on such a high pedestal.
So what happened when I saw the Ka’ba for the first time? I was overwhelmed, my expectations were met, actually it exceeded my expectations, and it was surreal. I wanted to cry because of how happy I was, I could feel the tears burning in my eyes but I didn’t want them to flow. I didn’t want my tears to come down, I know it sounds weird when I say this but I wanted to be strong and composed so I didn’t want to cry. So I held myself and I was just smiling. And as I was walking towards the Ka’ba it was like I was the only one, I couldn’t hear the people around me or see anyone else, I was just drawn towards it, it was like a magnet pulling me and then I began to perform 3umrah.
I always heard people saying that you don’t feel tired or the strain as you perform the 6awaf around the Ka’ba and I found that to be true. It was easy and smooth and before I knew it I had finished. Another thing that I found amazing was that I remembered everyone who asked me to pray for them and what they asked for, I mean I remembered people who weren’t even that close to me, at that instant as I was going round the Ka’ba all their names and prayers were in my head and I prayed for them.
And then I finished performing everything else and went back to the hotel and fell on my bed TIRED. But oh, it was worth it. You feel this feeling like you are on cloud nine. I called it a ‘spiritual high’ and I feel it’s the best way I could describe the feeling.
I can’t wait to back their again inshallah. =)